she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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