its not stalking. its research.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
