This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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