haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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