she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
