We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
