two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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