Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
