I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
