Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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