So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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