There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
