You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you traded sex for a burrito?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
