You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
