Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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