end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
