Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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