just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
