I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
