just come out here and I will go home with you...
barbara walters just said penis...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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