I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize