and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
