Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
