I need help removing her.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
