I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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