Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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