And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
where are my eyebrows?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize