I cockslap morals
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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