They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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