I just pynch a tree in the face
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
