you would pick up someone in the library
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize