I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
