He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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