I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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