Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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