So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
