I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
