whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
