Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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