SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
