just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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