i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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