It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
