tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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