If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
