So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
