At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
