I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
