they need to just BURY HIM!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
