Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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