We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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