You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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