I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
