If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
