took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
