I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
