belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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