I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
