I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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