i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
