The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
