Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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