Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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