just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
