those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
