hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
