I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize