He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
