trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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