JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well you can't waste a boner
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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