Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
