Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
