Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
