so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
