i think my mom watched the whole time
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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