wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
