I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Randomize
