I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
